¡¡¡¡Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemedphysicians could find a cure,until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foobird could restore the imperial health.
¡¡¡¡Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almost legendary,and the greatest hunters in the landwere assigned the task of capturing a specimen-but before they left on their quest, the ancientsage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should onno account clean or change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.
¡¡¡¡The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted amagnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the birdand managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blobofexcrement on the hunter's shoulder.
¡¡¡¡Though the stench was almost unbearable,the woodsman remembered the sage's injunctionand carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had onlybecome worse, and thehunter was deeply embarrassed.Finally, he felt that he could not entertheemperor's presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from hisshoulder.
¡¡¡¡Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, theemperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunterwas clapped in irons.And themoral of the story is: If the Foo shits,wear it!
¡¡¡¡A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.
¡¡¡¡A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.
¡¡¡¡"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"
¡¡¡¡"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"
¡¡¡¡Moe, Larry and Curly had been stranded on a desert island. They were walking alongdisconsolately when Moe happened to kick a bottle lying in the sand. The bottle broke and agenie suddenly emerged before them.
¡¡¡¡"Thank you. oh Masters, for releasing me from my captivity. For your kindness, please allow meto grant you each a wish. "
¡¡¡¡"Well, it's not too difficult to figure out what I want," said Moe. "I wish I were back home. "
¡¡¡¡No sooner had he said the words than he was back in dear old Brooklyn.
¡¡¡¡"I want to be back home, too," said I Larry, and he, too, was instantly transported.
¡¡¡¡" Gee, it's alone some here without Moe and Larry," said Curly. "I wish they were here to keepme company. "